That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
