I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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