Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
