Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
