I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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