Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
