In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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