after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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