You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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