need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
