do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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