he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize