East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
