addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
