conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Drake has all the answers
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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