is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
