Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm passing your future prison.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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