STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
