every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
