How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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