I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
