Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
