doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
