you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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