I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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