so explain again why im purple
no
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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