where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Screwed.edu
he thought i was a dude.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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