pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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