ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
