You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
