dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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