we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
