Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
