Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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