think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
