Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
