He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
