i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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