I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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