I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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