just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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