She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
