I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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