I think scott just propositioned me for sex
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
