Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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