i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
