if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
