Are we in a gay sports bar?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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