Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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