ya dads aren't the best wingmen
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
