how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
