pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
