I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
