So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
