I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
