vagina is talking i cant
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
