oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
do herpes really smell.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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