I'm really into asian looking animals
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize