i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize