i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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