come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
