eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
