break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
