If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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