I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
