it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
