haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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