i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
