Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
