Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
