Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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